Milliner's Dream

--Dateline China: Breastfeeding Police Officer Saves Infants

Perhaps you have already heard about this story about a police officer, Jiang Xiaojuan, 29, the mother of a 6-month-old boy, breastfeeding infants following the earthquake in China.

CNN says she "responded to the call of duty and the instincts of motherhood when the magnitude 7.9 quake struck on May 12."

"I am breast-feeding, so I can feed babies. I didn't think of it much," she said. "It is a mother's reaction, and a basic duty as a police officer to help."

--I didn't want...

...the apartment I dreamt of having when I was 20...

...or to be able to sleep in bright room without black out curtains...

...with a pretty bedspread and the matching pillows...

...with the bed in a dormer...

... with a beautiful view

...from every window...

--Perspective through Pain-filled Eyes

I sat on my porch yesterday, in a lawn chair, sipping tea. My hair was blowing lightly and the tree overhead was raining wilting flower petals like beige snow. I couldn't get over the dichotomy of the peacefulness there on the porch and the seeming "turmoil" of my life these days. Divorce is no picnic.

And then I went to work. It was a difficult shift. Two patients took the majority of my time, even though I had a total of 18. One is a patient who is 48, with a cranial mass that recently hemorrhaged. He calls the staff vulgar names and hates being indoors because he'd been homeless the last eight years. The other patient's condition has just this week declined severely. She is now very altered calling out "Help me! Help me!", saying she has bugs crawling all over her, pulling at her clothes, and staring as if unseeing at you while yelling "Don't let me do this." I think the mass in her abdomen has either metastasized to her brain and/or she is just in so much pain that the confusion is so much worse. I could barely keep her comfortable and not crying out.

And then there's the families. The parents of the 48 year old man who have tried and tried to help him and he has called them horrible names, pulled weapons on them, refused their phone calls and threatened to burn their home down.

The family of the elderly woman with the abdominal mass who hovered all evening, sat and told her they loved her, tried to calm her when she called out and cry at the thought of losing their mother, grandmother and wife.

I recently lost a patient--a favorite of mine, though we probably shouldn't have "favorites." He is the grandfather of friends of mine. They loved him, cared for him and miss him.

Doesn't that all make my problems seem comparatively petty?

--Childbirth Class Mixer

Taken from an idea at Janelle Durham's Transition to Parenthood site, I created this to be used as an ice breaker on week two of my class. It was a big success!

Childbirth Class Mixer

Find someone nearest your due date: _________________________________

Find someone who has never changed a diaper: ________________________

Find someone who has been having some back pain: ____________________

Find someone who is planning to breastfeed their baby: __________________

Find someone who is having the same gender baby (or who is also having a “mystery baby”): ____________________________

Find someone who is sees the same physician or midwife you see: __________

Find someone who isn’t packed for the hospital yet: ______________________

Find someone who has had a massage while they were pregnant: __________

Find someone who has a birth plan already: ____________________________

Find someone who has had someone just walk up and touch their pregnant belly without asking: ______________________

Find someone who has never fed a baby: _______________________________

Find someone who did not have younger siblings: ________________________

Find someone who has heard at least one horror story about birth: ___________

Find someone who plans to be a supportive partner throughout labor: ________

Find someone who laughs everytime we practice breathing: ________________

Find someone who planned their pregnancy: ____________________________

Find someone who has a name chosen for their baby already: ______________

Find someone who weighed under 6 pounds at birth: _____________________

Find someone who weight over 7 pounds at birth: _______________________

Find someone who does NOT want their mother there during labor and birth: ___________________

Find someone who plans to have more children: ________________________

Find someone who has the car seat in the vehicle already: _________________

--Pleasant Boring-ness

After the spelling lesson, I have decided to do a lesson in vocabulary. Boring-ness--meaning quiet, but not painfully so, and unbusy--without being dull.

Work: We had an inservice on Peritoneal Dialysis on Tuesday. Fascinating~! We have a patient coming post-tko (total knee replacement) surgery who is a PD patient in a few weeks.

Personal: Manboy #2, and I, went to see a movie together last night. Afterwards we shopped here, and got all the ingredients for his favorite salsa. (It's actually probably more accurately pico de gallo, the recipe a friend of mine, Tami, gave me years ago.) We then ate some of the fruits of my labor (after all, tomatoes are fruit), watched two movies we had also rented on DVD (and I fell asleep during the second one.)

Birth junkie stuff: I'm heading off to teach, and just jumped online at the coffee shop/WiFi hotspot near the hospital. A friend told me that I must do things that feed my soul right now--and teaching is one of those things--spending time with the kids, the new grandson, reading, writing--and I believe that trying to find the right balance and blog again--will all be things that help me to feel more joy.

--Can you spell...innocuous?

Innocuous: harmless, safe, mild or bland...as in, "I will begin with yet another innocuous blog post, so I can get back into the rhythm and feel my way back into how to be a blogger."

Have you ever purchased anything from a tv promo or infomercial? I think I have once or twice. Lately, I really wanted to get this, the PedEgg. I resisted; what if it's a waste of money? And why must I get two to order it online or over the phone per the ad on television?

Well, the other day, I was wandering through WalMart, picking up something innocuous (toilet paper, I think, and dish soap.) There on the end-cap of the cleaning products aisle (why there?) I saw the PedEgg on display. Just one, and just $9.99 (compared to the $19.99, plus shipping and handling on tv.)

It's magic. I have had three professional pedicures over the last year and come home with feet as rough as when I went. The PedEgg (do I sound like a commercial?) in one use made my feet look and feel better...and as I use it again I am sure it will continue to improve my little peds!

Just thought I'd share...something innocuous.

--Just do it...

I suppose blogging is like getting back on the bike...or the horse...or the computer keyboard.

I need to get a camera.

I currently get a kick out of this radio show.

I just finished one of these here, where I am using the free WiFi, and had a spinach feta rice wrap for my dinner. The drink is a good second choice to this, which I grew up with, and prefer.

I nested today, on my day off, washing and folding laundry, vacuuming, cleaning my pantry, and generally relaxing. It was a peaceful respite, completely alone.